Dear Grandma,
If it wasn't for you, I would have been stuck with a terrible name that no one would be able to read. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have grown up with manners and support. If you weren't around, I would have been fending for myself most of the time and probably have had a lot more trust issues than I do.
Grandma. You kept me safe when no one else would. You took care of me when my mother couldn't and helped me become a respectable adult. You punished me when I needed it, supported me, cared for me, loved me and most of all believed in me. You were always there for me grandma. The thought that you are getting old is killing me inside. The fact that I see you have a hard time moving makes me want to cry. All I want to do is make you proud. All I ever want to do is make you happy and make you smile. Your smile is like a ray of sunshine to me. I love you more than anyone else in this world. When the world turned its back on me, you hugged me close and helped me stand again. When I get neglected and forgotten you shine a light in my darkness and pull me from depression.
Grandma you are my rock. And the idea that I will soon be on my own, struggling against the world without you is killing me. I can barely breath while I write this. I know you're still here. You've always been there for me.
When I was little, you scared me. You were strict and always yelling at me. I was confused and scared. I had no idea why mom never wanted to spend time with me, why my brother didn't care and my grandfather didn't want me. Why my father wasn't around or why my only friend was a dog. I had no idea why my sister got to live a fantastic and rich life in Arizona, which is how it seemed to me at the time, and I didn't. Why you and I were always thrown together when we were clearly not getting along. I didn't understand. But I did understand one thing.
Every day. At noon for as long as my memory served you would watch sixty minutes, and after it was over, you would make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You gave up your living room for me to color and play in. You unplugged the Television in the summers and told me it was broken so I would play outside. You came to my sports games, when you hated sports, and every concert I was ever in. Every grade I graduated from you were there for me and you supported me. When I came home in tears you wiped them away and gave me comfort. When my mom was too busy trying to control my brother you were making sure I had everything I needed, maybe not what I wanted, but what I needed.
When I went to high school in a new town you supported me and even took in my dog because my mom wouldn't disregard her boyfriend and bring him even though we could. You were the one that held me and helped me when the dog I loved went missing a few months after the move. You were always there to set me straight and make sure I was fair to those around me. You taught me the importance of being nice.
When I graduated from high school you were the one who saw my outfit and smiled, even though the shirt had cussing and obscene comments on it and my makeup was outlandish. You were the one that supported me through all my mistakes, all my blunders and everything I've done. You've always been straight with me, helping me when I needed it and scolding me as well. You made me remember that my mother had her own stuff going on and that I shouldn't hate her. You kept the family together and were always there for everyone who needed you.
Grandma you were the reason I went to college. You wanted me to go to please my mother, but you sent me and I went because you wanted me to go. When I said I wanted to move to Japan, for good, to cut ties with my mother, you were the one who wanted to cry, I could see it. You didn't tell me no, however. You made me think about it realistically and make sure I knew what I was doing. You were always there, even when you didn't want me to go. When I went to college you missed me. And I missed you. I miss you. Every day. I sit in college now, and I call you as much as I can because I miss you so much. I miss your house and your hugs. The cookies you baked and the cocoa you gave me when I came in from snowmobiling. The cakes for my birthday and the Christmas tree we put up together. THe television shows we watched like NCIS and Criminal minds. You teaching me to sew, and to paint, helping me with school projects and making sure I did my homework before video games. The way you would hug me and make sure I was safe. When I came out to you as bi, you didn't judge you simply accepted me even though I could tell you weren't exactly agreeing with it.
I can't express to you how much you mean to me grandma. I think about it all the time. You are everything to me. And I am going to miss you so much when you're gone.
Sincerely,
Your adoring granddaughter.
If it wasn't for you, I would have been stuck with a terrible name that no one would be able to read. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have grown up with manners and support. If you weren't around, I would have been fending for myself most of the time and probably have had a lot more trust issues than I do.
Grandma. You kept me safe when no one else would. You took care of me when my mother couldn't and helped me become a respectable adult. You punished me when I needed it, supported me, cared for me, loved me and most of all believed in me. You were always there for me grandma. The thought that you are getting old is killing me inside. The fact that I see you have a hard time moving makes me want to cry. All I want to do is make you proud. All I ever want to do is make you happy and make you smile. Your smile is like a ray of sunshine to me. I love you more than anyone else in this world. When the world turned its back on me, you hugged me close and helped me stand again. When I get neglected and forgotten you shine a light in my darkness and pull me from depression.
Grandma you are my rock. And the idea that I will soon be on my own, struggling against the world without you is killing me. I can barely breath while I write this. I know you're still here. You've always been there for me.
When I was little, you scared me. You were strict and always yelling at me. I was confused and scared. I had no idea why mom never wanted to spend time with me, why my brother didn't care and my grandfather didn't want me. Why my father wasn't around or why my only friend was a dog. I had no idea why my sister got to live a fantastic and rich life in Arizona, which is how it seemed to me at the time, and I didn't. Why you and I were always thrown together when we were clearly not getting along. I didn't understand. But I did understand one thing.
Every day. At noon for as long as my memory served you would watch sixty minutes, and after it was over, you would make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You gave up your living room for me to color and play in. You unplugged the Television in the summers and told me it was broken so I would play outside. You came to my sports games, when you hated sports, and every concert I was ever in. Every grade I graduated from you were there for me and you supported me. When I came home in tears you wiped them away and gave me comfort. When my mom was too busy trying to control my brother you were making sure I had everything I needed, maybe not what I wanted, but what I needed.
When I went to high school in a new town you supported me and even took in my dog because my mom wouldn't disregard her boyfriend and bring him even though we could. You were the one that held me and helped me when the dog I loved went missing a few months after the move. You were always there to set me straight and make sure I was fair to those around me. You taught me the importance of being nice.
When I graduated from high school you were the one who saw my outfit and smiled, even though the shirt had cussing and obscene comments on it and my makeup was outlandish. You were the one that supported me through all my mistakes, all my blunders and everything I've done. You've always been straight with me, helping me when I needed it and scolding me as well. You made me remember that my mother had her own stuff going on and that I shouldn't hate her. You kept the family together and were always there for everyone who needed you.
Grandma you were the reason I went to college. You wanted me to go to please my mother, but you sent me and I went because you wanted me to go. When I said I wanted to move to Japan, for good, to cut ties with my mother, you were the one who wanted to cry, I could see it. You didn't tell me no, however. You made me think about it realistically and make sure I knew what I was doing. You were always there, even when you didn't want me to go. When I went to college you missed me. And I missed you. I miss you. Every day. I sit in college now, and I call you as much as I can because I miss you so much. I miss your house and your hugs. The cookies you baked and the cocoa you gave me when I came in from snowmobiling. The cakes for my birthday and the Christmas tree we put up together. THe television shows we watched like NCIS and Criminal minds. You teaching me to sew, and to paint, helping me with school projects and making sure I did my homework before video games. The way you would hug me and make sure I was safe. When I came out to you as bi, you didn't judge you simply accepted me even though I could tell you weren't exactly agreeing with it.
I can't express to you how much you mean to me grandma. I think about it all the time. You are everything to me. And I am going to miss you so much when you're gone.
Sincerely,
Your adoring granddaughter.
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